Current Sections: Poetry      Newest:  To The One I Left Behind, Depths Of The Heart     [05.04.04] A Poem To Myself,  Afraid,  All For You,  Alone,  Audible Weapon,  ,Another Taste,  Beat Me Up Inside,  Because Of You,   Buried But Not Forgotten,  Burn Away,  Cellophane,  Change Of Pace,  Cheap Entertainment,  Corner Of My Mind,   Cries And Goodbyes,  Cuts,  Daily Grind,  Dedicated,  Define Hate,  Depths Of The Heart,  Directions,  Disappear,   Distance,  Dreaming,  Dreams,  Dropping The Ball,  End: Day One,  End Yesterday And Tomorrow,  Enemy,   Everythings Fine,  Faded Image,  Failure,  First Flower,  Floating High,  Formula,  For Our Love,  Further,  Guidance,   Guy Between,  Here,  Here Today Gone Tomorrow,  I Cared,  I Dont Ever Want To Be,  I Dreamed I Died,  I Want I Need I Fall,   I Want To Be,  I'm A Friend,  I'm...,  In Deep,  In Doubt When Im Alone,  Incredible,  Its Amazing,  Just Like This,  Just Once,   Last Words,  Learning Living Loving,  Life Is Doing Time,  Love At First Sight,  Memories,  Message From The Heart,   Mind Blank,  Missing,  Missing Love,  More Bad Dreams,  More Fighting,  Most Favored,  Motivation,  My Bleeding Heart,   My Hero,  My Lies,  My Turn Is Over,  Natural Feelings,  No Sleep,  Not The One,  Oblivious,  Once,  One Month,  Our Spot,   Peace And Quiet?,  Price Of Consequence,  Problems Arising,  Recognition,  Red,  Reincarnation,  Release,  Religion,   Repetition Of Unneeded Retribution,  Revenge,  Rise And Shine,  Run,  Senses,  Seperate Me,  Sight,  Sleeping,   Sleeping Alone,  Sometimes,  Substance Abuser,  Surfaces,  The Price,  Thief,  Things Change,  This Love Of Ours,   This Moment In Time,  Thoughts,  To Myself,  To The One I Left Behind,  Umbrella,  Unique,  Way Out,  What To Say,   Where And When,  Where Could You Be?,  Without You,  Words,  Worthless,  You Can Make It Without Me. Sayings   Last Updated:  [ 02.11.04 ]                                                                   [ a collection of my random not-so-daily hatreds. ] Poetry:      [ back to top ] All For You  its all for you, its all about you, i would do anything for you, i would give it all for you, i live for you, i'd die for you, when i am without you, i dont want to go on, when i am with you, i fly along, when i am beside you, i want to be closer, when i am away from you, a tear will fall, i'll do anything for you, i'll be everything for you, i'll be there for you, i'll love you, when its all said and done, i'll be happy, because i did it all for you. Cries And Goodbyes  i try to run, i try to hide, from all the pain deep inside, but i cant escape whats in my mind, each day afraid of what i might find, i cant forget you, believe me i've tried, it kept getting worse and the more i cried, i wish you were here, why did you die? why couldnt you wait until i said goodbye? Missing Love  Its my love that i have lost, My heart and happiness were the cost. I feel alone out in the frost, Your feelings, in the air i tossed, Its my fault your gone, its all my loss. For Our Love  you told me to smile and everything would be alright thats easy for you to say when you are so far out of sight i hid myself from you pushed you away with all my might i told you before for our love i'd fight so im not giving up until you are back in my sight i'll be everything you need lift you to new heights i want us to go on i want our love to take flight im going to look you in the eyes and tell you everything will be alright Without You  the window is wide open but there's no light shining through there is no happiness in my life when i am without you you've moved on, by my request but i wished you still missed me too i dont know what i was thinking i was being stupid, i was the fool but i know one thing is true i cannot live my life without you Revenge  why do i try to give you peace of mind you took my life i was stabbed in the back and you were holding the knife you said you would set me free but you forgot to mention you wouldnt let me be me if im not what you wanted why did you want me im not going out of my way for you again you are now an enemy that i once called a friend but it will be okay in the end cause what comes around goes around my friend Faded Image  you always look at me the same im just a picture locked inside a frame let me out, i'll be whatever you want i'll turn your life around, back to the front i tried once before, but i got it all wrong this is a different story, a different song i'll be the guy you need, the one you deserve my heart belongs to no one else, you have it reserved i'd walk a million miles, and then crawl one more mile just to hold you in my arms, and see you laugh and smile so please let me out of this frame, i'll be yours and true i promise even when we get old, our love will stay like new Natural Feelings  i look in your eyes, my pain goes away the clouds come, and rain falls my way the storm builds but it doesnt stop me when im with you, i become set free the rain falls harder, i get down to my knees these falling weights, do not penetrate me our love grows slowly, the love between you and me now just a seed, but eventually becomes a tree i am thankful for life, thankful for you and me Words  i run away, and continue to hide i cant find the right words in my mind the words i need to tell you, the ones that explain how i feel how much you mean to me, why i find you so unreal but the words i cannot find today so again, you stay, and i run away hopping tomorrow the words i will find the words i need to whisper to make you mine but again i try, and again the words dont come and so again that day, i shy away and run and finally, finally the words i am looking for flow from my lips, but they arent the cure for the loneliness and sadness i fear cause i spoke the words while you werent near so i repeat them for you, when i am not by myself but to my shock and dismay, you have found someone else so head down, i walk away, no need to run this time the feelings i had for you were unique, the words were all mine i ment everything i said, it was all the truth until you, i didnt believe i could find love at this youth Love At First Sight  i walk up to your door, slowly and softly when you come to your door, im amazed by what i see the most beautiful person i have ever seen i greet you with a hug and i feel your energy rush through me instantly my heart bursts at the seams and love flies free this love i have for you, is because of the love you give to me Religion  i try so hard, to understand what you believe but i guess religion is just too much for me to conceive i know it bothers you, knowing i dont feel the same as you why you think we are here and after death where we go to i try so very hard to understand, i want to be like you i want to know what my life is but i dont know what to do so until i find out what to do, im going to listen to your feelings cause in the end your thoughts might convince me to start believing i try to be what you want me to be, but i just cant see things that way so you can keep trying, but my ways arent going to change today Peace And Quiet?  quietness is measured by how alone you feel and through this silence i will peel because finally i have found you and this quietness you have too so now to quietness i say goodbye i have found my noise, to last for all time and through this noise i wade as i watch loneliness fade and i no longer feel alone this noise has only begun to grow Afraid  im not afraid to cry im afraid to walk away im not afraid to die im afraid to throw you away im not afraid to try im afraid of what could happen if i stay im not afraid to say goodbye im afraid of what might come my way im not afraid of you, im afraid of myself Guidance  you have changed my life in more ways then you know and i feel you will change it in even more ways even after you go these changes are varied some you might not even know on my boat you are the sail but in my raft you dont have to row you are the lighthouse to guide me through what i dont know these changes you have made, unnoticed they will not go in the beginning your guidance i did not follow but now i see your point, and im glad you never let go now i love you now more than you will ever know Our Spot  in our secret spot underneath the stars you and i can be alone and at peace we can sit and talk or be quiet and wonder about all the things that lay beyond our reach we can sit by the water, alone on our bench compare the landscape, take it what we see for that short time, i can explain what doesnt make sense because im here with you, and you are my second half without you i am nothing but a silly little boy i live my life to make you smile, to make you laugh but in our spot, alone far away no matter how long or short we are there the memories wont ever go away and to think this spot was once just my own but it wasnt long before i saw your value and this spot quickly had grown its no longer my spot, its our spot and no one can take this away because our place can remain just in thought i wont be able to look at it the same without you i may go by it on a daily basis, but it wont be quite the same every time i sit there, i'll begin to realize how much i miss you but in our spot, our peaceful spot, together or apart, beneath the stars, this spot will always belong to me and you, it will always be ours Here Today, Gone Tomorrow  i decide to stay and then you run away i hope you will return the next day but things stay the same way i wish today was yesterday when i thought you were here to stay This Moment In Time  we sat alone, that one special night, i held you in my arms as we sat under the moon light. for just those couple minutes, i knew what love was, i told you i loved you, no reasons needed, just because. that night i realized how much i love you, how much you mean to me, how i cant live without you. if i had to pick a moment, my most favorite moment, this would be it, because i know i wont ever forget it. me and you, cuddled together, no words, just silence, no worries, no problems, no concerns, no violence. just you and i, at peace and happy, thats how it was, charishable, meaningful, memorable, oh how magnificent it was. its a feeling i want to repeat, over and over until the end of time, it was ment for us. this moment is yours, this moment is mine. our special moment in time. Directions  i look at you, you look away, i look to the ground, you try to look at my face, i turn around, you turn my way, i sit at one end, you sit at the other, i walk towards you, but you walk the other way, i look to the sky, you look with me, a shooting star guides our eyes in the right direction, and we stare into each others eyes for a moment, feelings transverse, time stops, we dont blink, we wonder, in all the places to look, why did i look here last? your eyes should have been the first place i glanced, they show me meaning, they show me life... but thanks to this one moment, you see how i feel, without us having to speak a single word. Thief  you stole my life, you stole my friends you made my world a torture that never ends so come on back, take some more steal my happiness, take my soul i dont need it right? you said you would give me all i need you didnt give me anything, you didnt even give a damn so how am i supposed to live, when you own me own my thoughts, own my possessions so dear to me you stole my world away from my hands you dont know what you started but i know how it ends. What To Say  one day, some day, i'll know exactly what to say, i wont let my emotions get in my way, i'll tell you the truth, even if if you dont want to stay, for no one else have i felt this way, and no matter what, i wont betray, in my heart is where my mind with stray, to try to find another way, to express myself today, but until that day, things stay this way, i'll trip over my words, land on my beliefs, squish my emotions, and stand up with my will, stand up for what i feel, and in the end we'll see where i land, some day, one day, i'll know exactly what to say. Run  i take a look back, at what i have, at what ive done no matter how i look at it, i feel my life hasnt even begun sure i have great memories, and i have had my share of fun when i look back at what ive acomplished, it looks like im just trying to run i run from problems, i run from situations, i run from feelings, i just run i avoid the hazards, doubt my thoughts away, and around my fears ive spun i reach out for a hand, someone to help me out, but their live is already done i missed out, i missed it all, life past me by, i cant catch it, no matter how fast i run Red  its a new day today, yet i feel the same as yesterday i wish it was gone, i wish it all just went away if only you hadnt left me. i wish you had stayed then things wouldnt be this way, id have real words to say instead of emotions to hide and thoughts to leave unsaid the pain keeps coming back, so i lay depressed in my bed i close my eyes but still all i see is red, bloody red of all my emotions, love was the one i never fed i let it decay, i let it die. the only love i have, is the love i imagine in my head My Bleeding Heart  i bleed my heart and empty out my soul, i scream out loud as my tears start to roll, i stand on a cliff, look to the sky for an answer, i get no reply and to the edge i take a step closer, my bleeding heart is killing me inside, and in my heart is where my emotions hide, now my toes hang off the edge, as i step closer and closer but never falling off the ledge, this is the point, where you came into my life, instantly i felt better, i thought i had found my wife, i was wrong, but you left me better than you found me, instead of jumping off a ledge, i just get on my knees, i look to the sky and ask for guidance, and inside i realize i already have my guidance, i have you, i have you as my friend, a friend that will be there for me, all the way to the end. This Love Of Ours  this love of ours just grows and grows, the strength of it, no one knows, i help it mature, i help it bloom, in the end it will surely be our doom, it will eat us, devour us, spit us out, there will be pain and tears and we will certainly shout. but in the end that wont mean anything, because the love between us is the only thing, the only thing that keeps us alive, the only thing thats let me know you're mine. so our love, i no longer fear, our love only grows stronger when we are near. but even when at a distance, our love gets stronger, our love isnt just for life its much longer. time will stop before our love ends. in the path of life, love is the bend. it brings me to the edge, almost too close. but still its fragile, fragile like a rose. this love makes us feel alive,  and on this love i thrive, its my motivation, my drive,  to keep going and going through this rough life, i wont leave you, i wont say goodbye, i'll even be there for you after i die. our love is what makes me happy, sometimes very serious, sometimes rather sappy, but i know inside its the true way i feel. i'll crawl to your feet and kneel, and when i ask you to be mine forever, if yes is your answer, then your side i will leave empty, never,  i'll be there for you to hold, and to talk to, because i dont know how long i could live without you. i cant explain with words just how i feel, but my lips will speak, my soul open, and my heart will seel the deal, i promise to love no other, the way i love you. i wouldnt have even made it this far, if it wasnt for you. so now im on my knees, looking up to you, ive spoke my mind and now i listen for a clue, a clue of whats on your mind, and what  you think, and i can only stare, im too scared to blink. so i look you into your eyes, and tell you i love you, and with all my heart, i rise to my heart and  i hug you, long and tight, hopping something i said will stick in your mind, cause i know another person like you, i will not ever find. Floating High  up up up and away i fly, kissing life's worries goodbye. i had a fine day today, now i watch my problems fade away. a smile is on my face, as i no longer feel like a disgrace. nothing can bring me down from this cloud, i feel too happy, i feel too proud. but i dont want to be alone up here, so while im floating upwards i'll hold you near. this happiness isnt even worth a penny, if there isnt anyone with me. of all the people i know, this happiness is ours, only to you i shall show. these wonderful feelings that i acquired, are because of you, my desired. i want you to smile as bright as me, i want you to laugh, even if its at me. so take my hand and i'll lift you with me up into the sky,             where dreams come true, and there is no such thing as goodbye. Reincarnation  i found my life today, it was sitting in the gutter like yesterday, it didnt take long for it to end up this way, no matter what i do this is the way it will stay. dirty and unwanted, it sits in disarray, no ups, no downs, just the same thing every day, hopefully reincarnation isnt a dream too far away, cause if i could live again, my life wouldnt be this way. when i was quiet, i would speak, oh the words i would say. instead of closing my mind, i would let it stray. id take in everything that came my way. dreams would never even start to fade away. no problem would be to big to make me walk away. Thoughts  now i sit and write on this paper, the thoughts that float through my head. the thoughts i have in the early morning, the thought i have just before i go to bed. the thoughts that drive me to go on till tomorrow, the thoughts that make me question who i am. the things that flow through my head, easy to tell me i cant, hard to tell me i can. negativity is an easy escape from who i am inside, these thoughts, that rule my personality filling my mind with useless information... social prosperity, dignity, and all of humanity. meaningless venues for my mind to wonder through i try to see through all the bullshit but theres too much, its hard to figure out whats real. when i find something real, i try to put it in my thoughts but it wont fit. my mind has been filled with the pointlessness of daily life. Just Like This  like an inmate walking down death row, to the chair, to his fate, the fate he doesnt want to know. like an infant dying, never knowing what she could have known. like the homeless man on the street, starving, his stomach moans as he watches you eat. like a dying man, who only has one wish, but passes away before he can finish. like the doctor, who wanted to save a life, whos only patient he lost, was his wife. like a soldier, fighting for our nation, who dies in a war, but never really knew what he was fighting for. like the shy, quiet girl next door, who, everyday, gets beaten until shes on the floor. like the starving kids of a foreign country, who would do anything, to live like you and me. My Lies  i lied when i said i would miss you, i really just wouldn't have anything better to do. i lied when i said you're original, your just the average person, a little less beautiful. i lied when i told you how i feel, the feelings i told you were never real. i lied when i wrapped my arms around you, you felt cold and hollow, my arms had froze to you. i lied when i said we'd be together forever, in my mind i think we should be together never. i lied about who i am, when im with you, i convinced myself to be someone different, just for you. i lied when i told you i love you, with a false response of "i love you too". Dreams  my thoughts are wondering... just like they always do but now matter how far they go i cant stop thinking of you i wait for you impatiently seconds pass like hours this time is waste, but wont be when this time becomes ours then i'll cherish every moment i wont regret a single second you said you want to know me better more time together is what i recommend i cant speed up time so i'll continue to dream of you until you return to me again dreams, dreams are all i have of you Cuts  i miss you - i miss life i long for pain - i grab a knife slicing through my veins - the blade slides into my skin most would cut their wrist - my heart is where i begin my eyes roll back into my head - to you i whisper goodnight this isnt such a hard thing to do - when you havent seen the light Enemy  enemy i must no longer ignore it enemy i must begin to destroy it enemy i must no longer fear it enemy its my greatest enemy its my only enemy its me Problems Arising  i looked into your eyes, i fell into their abyss, the world went away, all i felt is bliss, how did i live so long? so long without this? now i have a new problem, this i am really going to miss. Because Of You  happiness - is what i feel why - because of you when - ever you are around when - ever i think of you where - in my heart, in my eyes who - its a feeling i get from only you what - i dont know what it means, but i like the feel of it happiness - from you to me the hard part - giving it back to you the easy part - letting it brighten my day Further  here i stand on both of my knees looking into my hands covered in color color from another color not of my own even if i was really there things would still be the same why do i have these pictures in my head when i was really at home playing on the floor waiting for you to come home that evening then came the message it hit me like a train i wouldnt see you again all i could do was scream then the tears began to fall eight years later they still flow at a steady pace when will this go away? never? only time will tell Recognition  no matter what you do... do you feel like no one is watching? are you waiting for your turn... or do you just feel forgotten? you've worked so hard to get this far... would you throw it all away to be noticed? Where Could You Be?  missing you is like missing air theres an emptiness i feel without you there why arent you here? this just isnt fair... your somewhere, something better there you think i forgot about you, when i really do care its my feelings that i cant seem to share now i am without you, now im running out of air gasping for a breathe, as you just stare i wonder if its you who doesnt care... To Myself  this is a poem to myself, it helps me to find my emotions, it helps me to free my mind, it helps me ignore the notions, to be like everyone else, to be just another person in the crowd, it helps me to speak my mind, it makes my voice loud, i use it to learn, i use it to grow, grow into something unique, to make myself bold, to give myself color, not to be oblique, but even with this poem, emotions fall short, happiness is lost, i push on, knowing its my true love i've lost, but this poem keeps me alive, it lets me know, i have feelings left inside Sight  i see i see you i see through you i see through your lies and inside your eyes the truth lies and i will not be blind to all your lies and in my mind strength i'll find i wont deny my eyes i see I'm...  not needed not wanted forgotten and rotten neglected disrespected mistreated overly beaten ignored misinterpreted lonely miserable sad and cripple used "saved" confused abused im dead im me no more no less Corner Of My Mind  head down against the ground all alone, not a soul around i feel so forgotten, so disregarded i thought this is where i started how did i end up here again? this cold dark corner screams my name maybe this is where i am to remain i'll sit and cry, thinking, absorbing the pain from a normal life i must refrain Repetition Of Unneeded Retribution  abusive excuses, flowing freely. from your lips into my ears. no explanation, no reasons why. just another alibi, just another lie. a way for you to hide, from whats on your mind. a cover up, giving false hope, misleading, dead end. unneeded retribution, unleashing my pain. tell me the truth, speak your mind. Unique  im a different kind of guy not the good kind of guy i look straight into your eyes as i fill your head with lies i tell you i love when i despise happiness i fake so others are satisfied Buried But Not Forgotten  no need to move forward, only drifting back all the pain, all the crying, wont bring you back will these emotions go away? or is the hatred here to stay? brushing off the leaves as i kneel headstone cold and bare, just how i feel slipping down away from life you left your child, you left your wife it wasnt your fault, it was "fate" it molded me, and set me straight only one feeling left to have, hate our time together i appreciate its the time lost i regret its you i'll never forget. Price Of Consequence  raging emotions, out of control no path to guide me, no path to follow winding and turning, wearing away making my own path, going astray originality is the source of my pain so fuck me for now wanting to be the same? whatever you want to think of me you think you see it all, but you're blind to me you can judge me from a mile away judge me up close and you might be tempted to stay in just one conversation i'll make an impression like it or not, spare me your aggression in not unique because someone told me to be im unique because its me, its who i am. My Hero  you are my only hero like me you're just a zero thats what makes me proud you're the quiet one, never loud not needing recognition or praise always strong, positive, and brave you teach me a little more everyday as long as i've known you its been this way no one can replace you... how did i live so long without you Cellophane  wrap me up in your wicked illusion make me forget who i was twisting lies im full of confusion cant remember whos fault it was let me dry out in the sun im dead in your mind painful questions have just begun with answers i wont ever find Mind Blank  heart broke and waiting bored and contemplating happy yet complaining bright days but always raining empty but thinking emotion is fading commemorating suffocating Not The One  im not the one im not the one who made you cry who said goodbye im not the one im not the one who raises their voice who made the bad choice im not the one im not the one who said i'll say but just walked away im not the one im not the one who said you're on your own or never picked up the phone im not the one who betrayed you this happened only because of you A Poem To Myself  this is a poem to myself to teach me a lesson i should have learned long ago to take my emotions off that dusty shelf not to bottle it all up inside and to just let it go this is poem to try to teach me no matter how tall you are or how high on a mountain you sit there's always something more to see there's always a better a view, one you wont forget this is a poem to make me understand friends are there to help, there to guide, there to listen they were there to help me crawl and now they will help me stand i have to tell them how i feel so they will have a chance to listen this is a poem all about who i should be sure i like who i am now, but ive done some things i regret in my past i don't want to be a different person, improvement is the key i'll be myself, that's all i need to make my relationships last this is a poem about the direction im going and how badly in that direction i don't want to go i want to make my own path, winding and flowing a path of my own and all my secrets i will never show this is a poem to teach myself how to have faith again not faith in a higher power but faith in my fellow man its hard to do when i see the same pain again and again but i need to understand, people don't see things like i can this is poem about myself, to share with all my friends so maybe they will understand why i am who i am everyone has problems, its part of the road of life as it twists and bends hopefully they know how much they mean to me and how sorry i am Audible Weapon  i cant make sense of what you said am i really just better off dead? put the gun against my head pull the trigger paint your world red all those little words we said built a bullet to pierce the skin twisting through the air so thin who knew "i love you" was such a sin Learning Living Loving  another day, another waste another scar, another face another kiss, another taste another walk, another pace another star, another sky another wish, another dream another sorry, another lie another fish, another stream another smile, another faked another life, another taken another fixed, another broken another belief, another forsaken another story, same old ending another ending, same old story live, learn, and love you learn to live when you're in love you live when you learn to love Alone  i woke up one day and told my sleeping body to continue to lay this is a task for just my mind to try to find if im really just one of a kind no big deal no reason really for wondering just tired of seeing the same people …following so out onto the street i sent my mind that morning observing, no need for speaking just silently meeting one more punk, another skater a quiet goth, and a gangster another soccer mom, kids in hand another 30 year old in a local band i dont fit in, these people arent me luckily its just my mind my body they cannot see im not one of a kind like i hopped I was… im a little bit of everything or im somewhere in between luckily im home in bed where i wont be seen i guess i dont have a group to follow i'll have to make my own but it will be for the best, even if i am alone i know where i want to be i know im not there even if no one wants to follow me i'll be proud when i get there … even if i am alone. Formula  purely physical and its not dependable connecting on higher level now thats something special love doesnt seem made for me a temporary period of insanity makes you do things never dreamed believe things you never believed but love might be just what i need Daily Grind   im the shell of a human thats empty inside stuck in the nine to five killed by the daily grind a dried out soul and a broken heart im an angry mind a pile of broken parts remind me of how i used to be show me who i need to be now a reason to keep my chin up a reason to not stay down im the shell of a human you need to fill me up inside it only takes three words and a person by my side More Bad Dreams  the crimson red flowed down his back as he lays face down in the dirt after being shot in the back they wanted his car for some extra cash to buy some cocaine, to pay their debts ...my life changed in a flash i wouldnt have a father the next day but i'll always remember those last words the last words i'd here him say "i love you son"... if only i had known... that was a long time ago now im older and grown but everyday i miss you... i love you dad. Seperate Me  all dressed up with no where to go so much to offer but nothing to show feeling blue got my head in the clouds the faster i get up the faster i fall back down so sperate me my soul from my body pick me up show me the view everybody's got something i need something new with my knees on the ground the sights are getting old black, white and shades of grey everything seems cold no better reason to wake up then a reason to live material wealth has nothing to give so seperate me my soul from my body Message From The Heart  plastic, steel and wire im the one that none admire im as fake as fake can be you can see right through me tear away my skin im the one you called your friend hollow, empty, dead inside truly one of a kind bruised and bent the wasted time you spent just a pile of wires that no one admires im the broken heart looking for another start wounds that wont heal im the heart that doesn't feel Missing  its nine thirty two and im dreaming of you its nothing new its what i always do not at any certain time just when you're on my mind missing you is easy to do you were something special there's no one else quite like you i compare all the others they never come close to you not sure why i let you go i wish i let my feelings show im trained to keep it all inside use a smile to tell a little lie “everything's okay, i'll be alright” if only i knew how stupid i was to let you out of my sight I Cared  the kill switch is engaged and i feel so enraged the cycle came to an end this is how you lose a best friend i cared too much about who you see my heart fills with jealousy so close but so far away this is why love fades away everyday we grew apart i noticed it from the very start its amazing what one lie can do this is why i stopped loving you from beginning, to ending i feel im descending down a spiral to hell a place i know too well broken hearts and open wounds im tired of the same bad news we're over, we're done for this is why i dont need you anymore Just Once  one look in the other direction and you're never there for me one weekend getaway and you dont ever want me one mistake i made and you never trust me one little phone call missed and you wont talk to me even if i was perfect you still wouldnt ever love me Failure  i failed, failed so miserably i thought we'd always be said i'd never make you cry never wanted to say goodbye never wanted to be more dead than that moment that i said i dont need anyone anymore on my knees, i cried to the floor should have thought before i spoke it was more than one heart that i broke Incredible  im not a man im an animal i break hearts im a criminal my actions are inexcusable im hollow and invisible im a copy easily replaceable my heart is a crucible my soul is a fraction of a decimal im bland and predictable throw me away im expendable so incredibly irresponsible im nothing but regrettable im nothing incredible Umbrella  umbrella in hand but its folded at my side walking alone even though i have a ride its one of those days where nothing gets you down no matter what is said you just cant bring me down today is just another day of the rest of my life but whats the point of living if you cant feel alive Distance  you couldnt be further from my heart didnt even think we'd have a start then i never thought we'd have an end guess our love was dead before it began all has been said, i know now it was all a lie i think in your heart you wanted this goodbye i was always wrong, you were always right you pushed me away with all your might i cared too much or i didnt try hard enough we knew our relationship would be tough i didnt think you would be trying to throw it away it was your end of the rope that started to fray i gave you my very best you turned out like all the rest Rise And Shine  woke up with the sheets around my feet and some drool on my pillow messy hair, morning breath im just your normal naked fellow every morning is a special routine i get messed up if somethings out of place i'll forget to put on underwear or try to comb my face im not much of a morning person but i do my best to get moving every now and then i get a little lazy and in my first class i'll start snoozing dreaming of where i'd rather be home in bed, wrapped up snuggly a nice big bed with big soft pillows oh man, wouldnt that be lovely then i'll be awakened by that weird kid that sits next to me i'll be groggy and grumpy snap at the kid, "man dont touch me" teacher will stop teaching to lecture me about staying out late the bell will ring finally its time to evacuate run to my next class then drive on home day dreaming all day man how my mind can roam most of the time their silly dreams sea shores and driving fast the bad dreams go on forever while the good dreams never seem to last sleep walking and day dreaming sometimes i feel i slept through my day i was awake but nothing touched me sometimes life and dreams end the same way you always wake up for another day Cheap Entertainment  running with scissors in the house of mirrors im taking my chances im not very romantic but i look good by your side slowly running out of pride for myself and who i am selling my soul on cam porno star to sunday's preacher growing up, getting weaker fragile heart with a stable mind quick to think you're one of a kind yes its true what they say the yarn of my life is starting to fray but in the middle, not at the ends im a horrible person with lots of friends guess i should warn my next mate im expired, two months out of date a little old fashioned, i treat my girl right never looking to screw on the first night im sorry if you think lesser of me dont forget theres always more fish in the sea but if you dont like your door opened for you or having someone who will always stay true you dont have to choose me baby you might even be better off without me so im sticking my head in a blender seems its the only way to forget her i got all these rushing emotions all these hints and the notions i found my heart again i had left it with a friend You Can Make It Without Me  its so hard to believe in this dream when we're ripping apart at the seams its not hard to believe in my will and chance to be myself in all this insanity if im here at the end of the day its only because i had to stay i can make the change we can make it through i know life can be unfair especially when no ones there when you need someone to talk to where is my thread running through im keeping my connection true for me, the world and my love for you if im still here at the end of the day its because i had so much left to say you can make the change and i can make it through you can make it i know you can we can make it i know we can if i die before i wake i'll need you to know its not a mistake live moves on with or without us i'll need you to trust me be happy, stay healthy live your life the way you want it to be i'll always be inside reminding you how it once felt our love, our life together and forever you and me lifes great big tragedy is not being able to prevent what we see i told you once that you could trust in everything that i've ever been we can make the change we can make it through this life you can make it i know you can My Turn Is Over  to my surprise im not one of a kind cause in your eyes im replaceable it was just my time to be at the front of the line whore just moved on down, down and on to the next one Release  face to face hate to hate this is a war not a fucking debate stomp on my dreams and i'll bury you i have a future it doesnt include you fist to fist tears to blood my only regret is  thinking it was love Everythings Fine  theres nothing wrong? who are you trying to kid? you didnt act like this before i just want to know what i did was i in you way or was i never there? did i smother you or did it seem i didnt care? you spoke before you thought i think the fault is with you you didnt even feel when you said "i love you" In Deep  knee deep in this shit cant climb out of this pit down deep in this hate cant seem to concentrate drowning deep in these lies were happiness cant survive I Dreamed I Died  i dreamed i died no one cared no one cried just like i thought happiness can be bought a cut to the throat and thats all she wrote no walking away here i forever lay in this shallow hole of pain where i can feel the rain beat upon my face such a disgrace i dreamed i died and only sky had cried Dedicated  the world changed when i was created like messiahs and salvation my death is awaited every choice i make is twice debated every word i speak is misquoted, misstated feel i speak a language that cant be translated no need to feel its overrated lies arent told their integrated never time for rest when you're the hated everything dear gets desecrated wheres the life everyones sedated to everyone like me this poem is dedicated free your mind its time to be liberated Most Favored  hardly more than a curator he's a pathetic vindicator call me heretic, call me traitor in your eyes you're always greater really just another translator working for that invisible dictator the one they call creator Things Change  im the structure without the frame everyone knows who i am but no one knows my name the one time i am serious everyone thinks its a game what i feared is what i became full of sorrow full of shame things wont ever be the same so raise your weapons and take aim burn me alive set me aflame remove my pictures from their frames cause things wont ever be the same Define Hate  its a common topic of debate this little four letter notion called hate but you cant define it, you have to relate the feeling you get when your stood up on your frist date its the curve in the road when you just wanted to go straight its the final comment that makes you irate its saying goodbye to your soul mate when you think you know it all but you were never au fait its being at the end of your path with one last key that doesnt unlock that final gate its the meaning of life you cant translate Beat Me Up Inside  punch to the face i hit the floor "such a disgrace" i come back for more i just want to be told im beautiful thats not much to ask does it make me awful? kick to the ribs now im out of breath couldnt care less how im hurt next just want someone to hold and someone to hold me back without having to worry about being stabbed in the back cut to the neck i watch the blood hit the floor oh baby, gimme more just wanted some love got more than i could handle i have to admit you were my favorite scandal Sometimes  sometimes its hard to say i love you no matter how well they know you some things just take time but you never left my mind Motivation  the road gets bumpy and times get tough everyone has there days when enough is enough keep your head up high but both feet on the ground dont give up on life happiness will come back around Senses  i speak when spoken to same excuses that i hear from you i see with an eye or two getting ill at the sight of you i feel the way i do for better or worse i always loved you First Flower  pouring rain dark skies ahead black and gray images in my head petals of red dark as blood you're the first flower after the flood ray of light on my dark afternoon just want to know why you left me so soon now on my own out in the cold cant wait to be alone and old Where And When  deep regret from where i've been hard to forget what my eyes have seen living with burden for what i've done guess i am just another man guess i am only human Dropping The Ball  im dropping the ball its slipping away through my fingers or thrown away i've lost my grip life's rolling away i dropped the ball but its falling your way tried to catch it on my own but the weight was that of a stone catch it or drop it its up to you cant keep it alone i can only make it with you Another Taste  there were smiles there were tears feelings revealed confronted fears there were hard times there was lots of fun a rediscovered love maybe she is really the one i still smell her on my clothes and taste her gentle kiss she showed me all the affection i didnt even know i missed her hand holding mine her arms around my waist an exchange of emotions and we're giving love another taste Dreaming  eyes shut eyelids exposed mind is open body enclosed dreams of pleasure dreams of pain the life i wanted or the life insane sunsets and ferraris zebras and oceans telling my future only hints and notions timeline shortening life is a dying trend but in my dreams happiness has no end One Month  in one month i went to the zoo had a romantic evening dinner for two in one month i relived my childhood as we roller skated but most important our love got reinstated in just one month i gave a thousand smiles we proved love cant be stopped by a mere few hundred miles in one month i found how to live for this month on all my love to you i'll give in one month collected memories galore cant wait to have these feelings tomorrow and forever more The Price  look into my bleeding eyes from past experience to all the lies lessons lived and lessons learned the scars i wear are the scars i earned Once  voices dancing around my head whispers taughting of what you said i let you slip between my fingers once before but never again i lost my love i lost a friend once before but never again Surfaces  feeling the spit hit my face as you laugh at me and put me in my place im a bottom feeder kissing your feet living on the floor as i beg for more right away i can see you'll always hope i'll be below you, my superior im a slave, im your inferior Substance Abuser  not an addict or a user im just the number one consumer cant get what i want any sooner late night, early morning, afternooner red pills, blue pills, yellow pills, green pills from thrills to spills my growing hunger it fulfills the world turns to images, motionless stills this is life without the frills the unguided missle cruiser victim of the pointed finger acuser the end cant come any sooner for this sad, pathetic, loser the substance abuser End: Day One  a room so empty painted in shades of gray nothing seems to last just different states of decay facing the mirror i ask who am i today? lost, scared, confused a mind in disarray this is my daily torment when you are so far and away End: Yesterday And Tomorrow  from yesterday to tomorrow memories all around her home isnt here will she ever come back down? i dont believe in an afterlife because heaven is just a town heaven is wherever her feet touch the ground heaven is the pillow where her head lays down she brings the bliss the happiness thats world renown and until her return upon my face i will wear this frown Sleeping Alone  another night, sleeping alone in my bed dreaming of those words that were never said binding us together, they were our thread holding us close, now im sleeping with the dead Here  alone in my room in this period of gloom i smell the perfume reminding me of you as i sit here alone in my tomb alone in my room Change Of Pace  this is a change of pace but i cant past the beauty of your face given the chance my steps i would retrace its always been about more than the chase you're the supple flower im the hollow vase you'll never know how i long for our next embrace Oblivious  where am i whats my name oblivious am i im totally unaware is what im trying to imply im looking up but cant see the sky shaking hands when i say goodbye answering questions with no reply making plans for after i die drinking from the cup gone dry never taking time to ask for reasons why stumbling and delirious oblivious am i Last Words  speak the way you feel words aren't meant to heal as you speak its obvious but in the end its all just words speak from the heart words are a good place to start just remember actions speak louder than words speak the honest truth words not meant for the youth words can hurt more than stones speak the way you feel words aren't meant to heal Way Out  water filled lungs - im drowning strangled - i breathe deep flat lining - my heart beats true consequences of knowing you swinging from the noose i ask for one a little tighter soak me in gasoline then hand me the lighter tell me who i am again fill my head with doubt i cant breathe when you smother me so im looking for a better way out Disappear  i'll be happy some other day i see myself and look away the distance is showing now on my face soon from here i'll disappear disappear without a fucking trace the smile i miss, the face so far away i lost a friend along the way memories i thought would never fade im afraid they'll blow away i wish that i could disappear to that place so far from here so i could be yours again from now until the end I Want, I Need, I Fall  all i want, all i need always just out of reach i've been coming up empty i run as fast as i can i pushed as hard as anyone still nothing left for me and i want... i've tried as hard as i can and i need... i've taken all i can stand and i fall... never to rise again after all is said and done i'm back where i started from and i want... try as hard as i can and i need... take all i can stand and then i fall... never to rise again I'm A Friend  if you listened and observed you'd see i wear your scars i wont let you get the best of me i wont let you get the best of yourself you wont even try to listen to me but im going to keep hanging on im giving you all i can i can see the end, i can feel it wouldnt believe me if i told you that i know now what is to follow because the truth is so hard to swallow Worthless  the look on your face was priceless the look on his face priceless there was no trace of sadness no reasonable motive to your madness the look on your face was priceless the look on his face was priceless you liar, you cheat you whore, you're worthless you got caught and the look on your face was priceless Life Is Doing Time  life is doing time even if you didnt commit the crime no evidence to convince the jury you are here to kill me make sure im good and buried in your face no signs of panic no signs of worry no emotions you're like a killer from a classic horror story i died the first time you said my name i knew then life wouldnt ever be the same you must have your reasons for driving me insane no evidence to convince the jury pleading insanity pleading guilty lock me up throw away the key lock me up just to keep you away Guy Between  im your first rate second choice i can tell by the hesitation in your voice pushed the to edge your decision was made another reason i shouldn't have stayed love is your favorite verb used it to push my feelings to the curb the web you wove was strong but it didn't hold me for long i got away - i ran away - right out the door think what you want, i wont be back for more No Sleep  sleeping awake tossing and turning inside my skin standing still running in circles yet again colors run colors fade a lovely gray blend sleeping awake no dreams tonight a repeating trend More Fighting  i dont want to hear your apology i know its just as worthless as if i were to say im sorry no sympathy - we're ruthless each day more fighting all of us want to die the pressures rising i dont even want to try I Dont Ever Want To Be  its the beginning of the end not sure where we lost control just like in the beginning in the end im all alone i dont ever want to be the person you want to forget the one to make you resent it the reason you regret it i dont ever want to be the one to make you divide it the one to make you deny it the one to make you deprive it. i dont ever want to be I Want To Be  i want to be your provider, your protector your best friend, your lover your comrade, your boyfriend some day, your husband your amigo, your homie your heart, your beauty your valentines your sweetheart your man, your classmate your boy toy, your soul mate your romance, your happiness your ldbear, your servant your roommate, your worker and everything in between Sleeping  because in my dreams there's no such thing as goodbye just our best memories our best moments, frozen in time no distance is too great to keep you from my side we're together in my dreams the open eyes of the mind lonely when i wake, so i sleep because there is no goodbye when we're in my dreams Burn Away  light the match and let it burn away i'll never again let things get this way out with the old in with the new pack your things first to go is you soaked in gasoline time to make my spark the hole in my soul is where you made your mark how did i ever let things get this way let it burn, let it burn let it burn away Its Amazing  its amazing im sane with all the times i've screamed out in vain its amazing i still care because when i need someone most seems they're never there its amazing my heart still beats with my lack of victories and my growing number of defeats its amazing i still obey when the situations of life never seem to go my way In Doubt When Im Alone  tell me something cause i dont know if that looks for me why dont you tell me what it is you see in me tell me something dont know if that looks for me i ask this question expecting twisted lies to come clean i face it - i see it dont wanna be it i hate it - i feed it you'll never know how i miss you and cant wait to see you so tell me something cause i dont know if that looks for me Memories  yesterday has passed tomorrow is coming fast the memories remain you came, you went my emotions were spent the memories remain laughs of happiness to the silence of loneliness the memories remain the goodnight kiss is another thing i miss the memories remain marriage and children the future we believed in the memories remain no matter where you stray near or far far away the memories will remain To The One I Left Behind  life is the consequence of your latest choice in love there's no alone always a soothing voice life can be truly hard sometimes the pain can burn you don't get what you deserve you don't always get what you earn tears from the past today's sorrows, yesterdays regret don't let them blind you some moments you wont want to forget the going will get tougher what doesn't kill you makes you stronger pull through, tomorrow will be brighter you wont suffer any longer Depths Of The Heart  you're skating on a thawing rink do you really want to stop and think after the ice cracks - but before you drown open your eyes wide - take a look around shore is too far to save yourself now the weight of your clothes pulling you down the freezing water your coffin, i'll meet you at the bottom Sayings:      [ back to top ] its better to be broken than it is to break. it isnt love because i can live with you, its love because i cant live without you live fast, but dont miss a thing when words arent exchanged, silence invades words fade, promises break, opinions change, but memories remain there will always be a part of me that goes unsaid a lesson lived is a lesson learned. [everyday is a lesson.] its not about the words that are said, its about the words that are never spoken. start a path - dont follow one trust isnt found in a person, its found in a friend. i'll count the days i've suffered through, to see if they add up to you if i were to walk a million miles, and swim across the oceans, and crawl up to your feet, would you forgive me for what ive done? because for you i would do that, and i mean this from my heart, if i wasnt willing to go the distance, or swim across the seas, or crawl on both my knees, then i dont think our love even began to start if i was a monkey, you'd be the first person i'd throw my shit at. id rather you leave and be out of my life then to have you stay, simply so you can proclaim you were always there for me. in a world made for people that "fit in" i proudly call myself an individual... an original person, creative and unique, because im not afraid to be myself, im not afraid to take a chance, my only fear is being thought of as being like everyone else. ask why, be curious, question everything, dont let someone tell you that you are someone you're not. live by what you feel is right, not by what you are told is right. start a path today. everyone else follows paths... be different, go out and make one... even if it doesnt lead you anywhere. (C) all above material written by LD Forrest     [ email ]