Short, Stupid, Sayings, Quotes, Questions, And Ponderings: Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someones eyes out. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. I enjoy young people because they're really fucked up and dont know what they're doing. I like that. I support all fucked-up people regardless of age. Whenever you see more than two men sitting in a parked car after dark you can be sure drugs are involved. The trouble with sitcoms is every week its the same irritating group of assholes. I never see any black twins. Whats the deal here? You know what would be great? to be in a coma. You're still alive but you have no responsabilities. If i could chose how i die, i would want to be sitting on the cross town bus and suddenly burst into flames. The christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people. One of my favorite things to do at a party is smoke alot of PCP and start taking people's rectal temperatures without their permission. You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. When i was younger and was watching a cowboy movie and someone got shot, i always wondered who got his horse? Do you ever get a feeling of vuja de? Not deja vu; vuja de. Its the destinct feeling that something that just happened had never happened before. Nothing seems familiar. And then suddenly the feeling is gone. Vuja de. Spirituality: The last refuge of a failed human.  Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are. Most of the time people feel okay. Its probably because at that moment they're not actually dying. You know the only thing i like about the american form of government? They've working it out so you are never very far from a 7-11. You know what you never hear about? A bunch of jews being hit by a tornado. When i see a guy with hair on his back, i immediately relegate him to the animal kingdom. I've never been quarentined. But the more i look around the more i think its not such a bad idea. I dont think we should be governing ourselves. We need a king, and every now and then when the king doesnt do a good job, we kill him. Road rage, air rage... why should i be forced into dividing my rage into little sections. To me its all just one all-around rage. I dont have time for fine distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. sometimes people say the winds are calm. well if they are calm they're not really winds are they?? i think a good travel book would be Doorway to Norway Next time they give you that civic bullshit remember Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. Regarding the Boy Scouts, i'm very suspicious of any organization with a handbook. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, i think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.