Bad Analogies:
- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who
went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.

- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.

- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with
vegetable soup.

- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy"
comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

- Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

- He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

- The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them
in hot grease.

- Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this
guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy
field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland
at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a
speed of 35 mph.

- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a
Dr Pepper can.

- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met.

- The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.